Groupon, I want you back.

Oh hey, Groupon!  Wow...you're looking great!  How have you been?  You know...it's really great to see you. I've been meaning to catch up. Are you busy?  Maybe we could run and grab a cup of coffee.  I bet you know just the place.

Listen...I need to apologize for the way things ended between us. I said and did some horrible things, and worse, I betrayed your trust.

Google Offers and I broke up.  Google just couldn't offer the variety of deals that you can, Groupon.  And remember that bagel shop deal that Google Offers got me?  Well the place closed down before I even got a chance to use the deal.  How ridiculous is that?

Anyway...after Google Offers and I split, I dabbled with some other deal sites around the internet. Just looking for love and cheap deals.  I knew I'd hit rock bottom when I started messaging with Living Social.  Sure Living Social has some decent deals occasionally, but their return policy is garbage and...oh...sorry, Groupon.  I'm sure you don't want to hear about my past relationships.

You know you really spoiled me when we were together.  I think I took it for granted.  I didn't realize just how well you treated me until you weren't emailing once a day with the latest and greatest deals...

I have an admission to make.  I actually never unsubscribed from your emails like I said I would. I just sorta let them pile up.  I ignored them.  Then one day I was talking to my coworkers about how I'd really like a new wrist watch...and the following morning there was an email from you with a stellar deal on a Columbia Sportswear watch.  I bought one.

A few weeks later I was lamenting to friends about how it was summer and I didn't have a barbecue for my patio.  And you know what?  A few days later, you sent out an email about barbecues.  I bought one of those, too.

I'll admit it was a little eerie.  Kinda felt like you may have been stalking me.  You...you weren't stalking me, were you, Groupon?  Oh...hahahah...silly me...of course you weren't. No...you just always seem to know what I want...

So anyway, I've bought a couple local restaurant deals that you sent out recently and now bumping into you like this...Groupon...I miss you.  You're special, Groupon. I mean it.  I know I hurt you, but do you think that maybe we could try again?  You know...start over?  Wipe the slate clean?  Please, Groupon?

It's OK.  You don't have to answer me now.  Just think about it and know that I love you. Groupon, I want you back.

xoxo,
ShavedGolf