Seems in every facet of life - friends, family, career - people are hiring or applying for new positions. In light of this recent trend, I've decided to lend pearls of wisdom to the wayward, would-be worker.
As the late Louis Pasteur once said, "Luck favors the prepared," so take a page from the Boy Scout handbook and get your shit together. First, construct a resume. It is important that a resume have content applicable to the job posting - chances of landing a job at Barnes & Noble will not be improved by listing that exotic pole dancing class you took.
Standard font. One page. White paper. Bring a copy for yourself and for each interviewer.
Those well versed in the art of interview execution are keenly aware of minuscule details - they will notice the bags under your eyes and the bourbon on your breath. Show up to the interview well rested and preferably not after a night of binge drinking.
Dress appropriately. Suit up!
Once at the interview, be bold. Make eye contact and give a firm handshake. Eye contact is a sign of confidence, and a firm handshake is the sign of virility. Lack of eye contact is a sign of pussyfoot, and a loose handshake is like erectile dysfunction of the arm.
Interviewers will ask for the following:
- Three strengths
- Three weaknesses
- Example of a mistake made
- Self characterization by fictional friends
In responding to these questions, it is important to lie. Maximum bench press is not an applicable strength. Burning sensation when urinating is not an appropriate weakness. The first born is not a relevant mistake. Chronic masturbator is not a flattering self characterization. Lie.
Name drop - you're a nobody, but you know a somebody.
Keep anecdotal stories short and be mindful of your audience - it might be best to forgo the late night narratives, college chronicles, or sexual subjugations until after the three month probationary period.
Don't brag about your jazz flute.
Recognize the end of the interview. The interviewer may provide time for you to ask questions. Politely ask something trivial, thank them for their time, and get the fuck out. Lingering applicants are like pesky strippers - they mean well, but you just don't want to pay them.
Heed the advice.
xoxo,
ShavedGolf
i agree with what you have to say. I cannot stress the importance in my world of people's dress code for an interview.
ReplyDeleteOn top of that good grammar in teh resume. I know it sounds trivial but people dont edit their resumes....freaking word variety is so important..
good words...my expert freind