Admittedly I say inappropriate things. From time to time I may utter a four-letter word or let loose some vulgar story. However, in a world where actions speak louder than words, my flowery vernacular pails in comparison to transgressors who perform puerile acts of inappropriateness. As is so often the case, I'm using my blog once again to call out these violators of the social norm because, frankly, you guys are fuggin gross.
*clip*...*clip*...*clip* The sound of nail clippers is unmistakable. For most this cuticle cutting soundtrack is reserved to the privacy of the residential bathroom; however, as an employee of the 8 to 5 variety, I've had the pleasure of being exposed to the sound while working. It's unfortunate enough to turn a cube corner and catch a coworker callously clawing out a colossal booger from their nasal cavity, but pair this imagery with the clatter of their weekly trimming and knowledge that they cannot possibly pick up all those nail slices and you have grounds for a workplace harassment suit.
The human mouth is a grotesque, dank face-hole. Studies have shown this orifice is one of the most germ infested areas of the body. However, there are those among us that repudiate these truths as evidenced by those who whip out dental floss and clean the opening in public. There is nothing less attractive than watching an individual fit their hands inside their chasm to pick at the latest dietary consumption. The revolting mouth-grooming is worsened when performed at a restaurant table. The act shows little regard for fellow table mates as food fragments are flicked about the table top. Personal hygiene is just one of the reasons restaurants provide restrooms to patrons. Use them.
Clothes are uncomfortable. We can curse Adam for eating that fruit, at the suggestion of Eve, because without that knowledge we might still be frolicking around in the buff. It is this same knowledge of embarrassment that should prevent individuals from attempting public genital adjustment. Watching another man hoist and rotate or a woman pull down and pull out her spanx is not a spectator sport. The art of adjustment is an unfortunate necessity, but spare the public your pubic servicing.
Recognition of the inappropriate is the first step to recovery. Those who regularly partake in the above activities should consider themselves on notice. Those who witness the above activities are granted the right to ridicule.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go trim, floss, and adjust.
xoxo,
ShavedGolf
the nail clipping thing i agree with. I am subjected to it on a semi-regular basis through an open window and about 6 feet of barrier. The sound is disturbing to say the least.
ReplyDeleteTooth brushing, flossing, picking, and adjusting are things i do wiht no concept for interpersonal politeness.
discression is not only not a priority when it comes to adjusting my package...but it is in fact the complete opposite of a concern. If your naughty bits are pulling a spiderman...you gotta free the beast no matter what company you are in.