ShavedGolf Does Instagram

Mark Zuckerberg paid a billion dollars for Instagram.  He Zuckered it up with a billion fucking dollars.  That's $1,000,000,000.  And the moment he dropped that cash, hipsters fled the photo sharing site like rats on a sinking ship.  The hipsters were furious.  They instantly hated Instagram.  Suddenly their precious indy photo site had become another victim of capitalism.  How dare they sell out?!  This shit isn't cool anymore!  Worried about personal privacy, company integrity, and social status, the high-horse hipster herd left.

Perfect.  This opens the door for ShavedGolf to get involved.  Time to share some photos, bitches.

It starts off slow...

First I snapped a pic of my beer bottle...that was fun...what else needs it's picture taken?

How about that pole?

Look at that old train station!

What a quaint street!

I'm a fucking artist!

Put a bird on it!

Fuck yeah!  Now how about those clouds?!

Pretty clouds.

More clouds.

These fucking clouds are a gateway drug to crap.

Suddenly my mediocrity knows no bounds and I start taking pictures of my fucking shoes...

...my keys...

...and even my fucking blood donation!

In the end Instagram is no different than Twitter, Facebook, or fuck, even this blog.  I post shit.  People close to me pay attention so they know what's fresh. Acquaintances judge based on what little they know about me.  Strangers stumble upon it and critique harshly.  With each degree of separation the audience's interest decreases.  The content posted is always of most interest to the author, hipster or otherwise.

It's pointless.  It's dribble.  It's narcissistic.  It's social media!

So thank you once again, Zuckberg, for scaring off the hipsters and helping me waste time.  My content is the fucking bomb, and you help me share it with the world!

And if you want to follow, come find me on Instagram.  You know the name.

xoxo,
Shavedgolf