The Ideal Mate (Part Deux)

Preface:

For those unaware, Blogger crashed back in the middle of May, taking with it roughly thirty hours of posts and comments. Sadly, The Ideal Mate entry originally posted back on 5/11/11 was a casualty. For this reason I'm reposting. Thanks to David for providing the backup. Please enjoy.

xoxo,
ShavedGolf

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At age seventeen, I was tasked by Ms. Murray, our high school health teacher, with the Ideal Mate project. The assignment was to design the person you would pair off with by using words and images to describe him/her.

Ideal Mate made Ms. Murray a target - a young, blond-haired, blue-eyed, ex-cheerleader whose eligibility was well know (she was saving herself for Joey Harrington). Her mugshot from the year book was often herald as the ideal mate by many male students. These presentations were accompanied by humor and much laughter, but were likely admissions of a teacher crush. If Ms. Murray was spared, and the teenage boy's ideal mate was not her, it was often some model cut from the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition.

Mine was different.

While I don't remember the exact words used to describe my ideal mate, the image was quite unforgettable...

A female Leonardo.

Leo was always my favorite - decided at the age of five because he was the leader and because he had the most effective weapons. Fact: double katanas > bo staff > sais > nunchucks.

Whether Ms. Murray was excited to see a male student pick someone other than her or a super model or she just felt embarrassed for me, she held the female Leo as an example for years following my departure from her class and high school.

Now, roughly eight years later, I've decided to revisit the project. This redux is likely related to my SO challenged status. Ladies, you are on notice.

In the interest of brevity, I've provided details on the most important aspects of the ideal mate in bullet format:

• Humor: if you don't find Hyperbole and a Half funny, you are not an ideal mate.
• Sushi: I eat it off naked models.
• Blazers: there's 82 regular games a season and I will be watching all of them with or without you. Note they got their own bubble away from sports...it's that important.
• Crackers: I like them.
• Bud Light: when I'm feeling thrifty, I drink Bud Light because it's sterile and I like the taste.
• String Cheese: I buy the industrial Costco pallets and live off them for months.

So, ladies, if this sounds like a good time...you know what? Screw it. Ms. Murray, if you're
reading this, wanna grab a beer sometime?

xoxo,
ShavedGolf