Hairdo & Commentary

I went out on a limb. Took a chance. Grew my hair out. Screw you! It's more than you've done. Your idea of adventure is going commando to work. Kudos, but no one notices except your dry cleaner.

Sorry...that was a little hostile...you've done nothing wrong...yet.  Please keep reading.

This is an experiment. It's an adventure. Foreign territory. It's a new haircut.

...Jägerbombs!

To me it feels like much ado about nothing (no pun intended). Hair grows. It's been growing. I didn't buzz it off. Thus I have longer hair. But when you go from Doctor Evil to Super Saiyan I suppose a little commentary should be expected.

This to that.

Still. It's been relentless.

Anyway...here's a smattering of the shit I've been hearing since letting hairs grow...

"I like your hair."
A much needed compliment. When you delve into the unknown, as I have, you need the encouragement of those around you, lest you reach for the beard trimmer. Your comment is appreciated. You're a gentleman and a scholar. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!

"It makes you look younger."
Come again? Younger? Typically buzz cuts are the ultimate in childish haircuts. They're simple to maintain and fit into the cheapo family budget. So to go from near bald to product-styled do and hear that I look younger is a welcome surprise. Again...I need all the encouragement I can get. You are a gentlewoman and an acedemic. Good day, ma'am. I SAID GOOD DAY!

"Are you growing your hair out?"
A little trite. You can do better. It's the more friendly, personal equivalent of talking about the weather. But, if you must know, I will be growing my hair out from now until I'm six feet under. This shit just won't stop coming.

"What's going on up there?"
OK...now we're venturing into the we-better-be-friends territory. The question implies the interviewer holds whatever is going on up there in disdain. Fuck you. It's my hair. It's growing. That's what's going on up there. A-hole.

"Are you just getting lazy or is this the new look?"
Well, well. Aren't we ballsy? Thanks for the loaded question, dickhole. Please enjoy this stern glare and a hostile lade response. The question implies that my appearance is somewhat unkempt. I smell great. I shaved. I ironed my shirt. It's the new look.

"Can't get the top down in the Miata?"
I'll give credit where credit is due. This one is a little inventive and gets you some points to compensate for being an asshole. The question implies that my hair is funky and my wheels are the stereotypical gay man's car. Well played, dick.

"What's up, David Beckham?!"
I smiled. Thought this was a compliment. But have you seen Beckham's hair recently? Seriously, Google that shit. It's weird. Fuck it. I'll Google it for you...

See...fucking weird, right? Sooo...what's up, David Beckham?!

...and not wanting to end on a sour note...

"What's up, Wolverine?!"
Admittedly...I like this. I dressed up as Wolverine once for Halloween. Threw on a wife beater, tucked it into some jeans, wore a huge belt buckle, stole knives from the college eatery to use as claws...and just generally looked like a badass. Looking like Wolverine is A-OK...keep that shit coming.


I'm doing something bold. Trying things out. Experimenting. And it's a work in progress. So in the interim...you know...until I figure this beast out...best keep your mouth shut because you're kind of starting to sound like a bitch.

xoxo,
ShavedGolf