For years those with mediocre social lives have turned to cable television and internet pornography, but to enjoy those simple pleasures one must run the gauntlet with a misunderstood corporation - Comcast.
In a recent move from Beaverton suburbia to alphabet district oasis, I had the displeasure of setting up a new Comcast account. To set the scene, I called the Comcast sales line, was set up with a package, and then had subsequent issues getting a tech to arrive at the agreed upon time.
I've chosen to post the following email to help my fellow man crack the Comcast code and make contact with an often out of touch giant. You're the customer. You have a God given right to demand satisfaction. So stand up, put your pants back on, and follow my lead...
To Whom It May Concern:
I was instructed to send an email to this account by @ComcastMelissa because I had voiced a complaint on Twitter regarding issues I experienced when setting up service in my newly rented apartment.
Story goes like this: Called up Comcastical sales line and was getting set up with double play TV and internet. Guy on the other end was extremely helpful - only tried to up-sell me twice. After that initial account setup, I was transferred to a call center (guessing it was outsourced) somewhere in BFE (see urbandictionary). The woman on the other end fought through a shaky phone connection to confirm details of my account and arrange for a tech to install components necessary.
We agreed on Sunday, 3/27 between 10 and 11 in the morning. I wrote this down. We confirmed it at the end of the phone call.
Woke up early Sunday morning (3/27) with a blistering hang over, but was determined to clean and prepare my man cave for the tech's arrival. Pulled my TV out from the wall, exposed the cable outlet from behind the lazy boy, and lit scented candles. Like a loyal dog awaiting his owner's return, I sat by the door waiting for the Comcast tech.
10:00...10:17...10:32...10:41.
Waited another hour just to be sure the tech wasn't showing up before calling the Comcastical help line. A sultry female computer on the other end informed me I had an appointment scheduled and asked if I would like more details. I played her game. She shocked me when she explained that my appointment was indeed on Sunday, and yes it was between 10 and 11, but NO it was for NEXT Sunday.
I spent the next hour and a half crying.
Reasons why I cried and remain weepy:
- March 27th happens to be my birthday, so I'll cry if I want to.
- Called Comcastical help line the next day to speak to a real person and got little sympathy.
- Techs work the most inconvenient hours for anyone with a job...I'm assuming...most of your clientele have one of these. I work a regular 8 to 5 job Monday through Friday and don't feel it necessary to take time off from work to come and meet a tech at my apartment. I'm the customer. I shouldn't have to work around your schedule to pay you $50 set up fee and $100 monthly.
- Oh yeah...a $50 set up fee.
- Cut off from the interwebs for a week longer than anticipated. Had to read a book and listen to the radio. The horror!
- My Facebook Farmville went to hell in a hand basket.
- et cetera
Sincerely Disappointed,
[ShavedGolf]
Result: Received a speedy email response asking for account details and a good contact number. Received phone call roughly three hours after sending original email from an account rep expressing sympathy, profusely apologizing, and relaying Comcast's gratitude that I took the time to provide feedback.
Comcast provided the following credits to my account:
- Refund of initial setup fees - $80
- Customer Service Guarantee - $25
- HD box fee waived for first six months - $7 x 6 months = $42
- Total credits - $147
Advice:
- The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Do yourself a favor and start bitching. @ComcastMelissa instructed me to contact Comcast via we_can_help@comcast.com. That email address almost prompted the creation of a new gmail account why_didnt_you_help_the_first_time@gmail.com; however, if you're having issues, contact that address and you will get a response.
- When sending an email, include your account and contact information - if you don't, they'll email back asking for it, so speed the process up for everyone involved. Include your full name, the number used to set up your account, and a number to be reached at.
- If you are denied satisfaction by the 1 800 help line (1 888 824 8264) and the above email address, then take to Twitter. Really any form of social media will do. Keep in mind, Comcast is a communications company...they're keeping tabs on what is said about them on the interwebs. Blast Comcast on social media and you'll be contacted by a rep...if you burn them bad enough.
xoxo,
ShavedGolf
laughed myself to tears and, of course, right before going to bed, so thanks a bunch, asshole. I'm no longer sleepy.
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