Grand Jury Investigates Rare Candy Use Within Pokemon Community

Last week federal authorities launched a Grand Jury investigation into the rampant use of rare candies among Pokemon and their trainers. Rare candy was a much sought after Pokemon training supplement in the early 2000s for it's miraculous ability to level a Pokemon without gaining any experience. In more recent years, the Pokemon League has banned the use of rare candy under it's substance abuse policy.

Rare candy is now seen as a performance enhancing drug within the Pokemon community. Despite it's rumored side effects and the league's do-not-use label, an active rare candy black market lingers. This black market is seen as a blight on the sport and one the Grand Jury hopes to clean up.

There was little surprise when the jury indited well-known Pokemon trainer Ash Ketchum. Ketchum was called to testify today, and when asked if he had ever provided rare candies to his Pokemon, he maintained his innocence:

"Supplements were handed out from time to time. Training can be rough on Pokemon...as a trainer it's my responsibility to look out for these guys. Sure...I gave them supplements...iron, protein, whatever, but I never knowingly providing rare candies to my Pokemon."

Poliwrath, formerly known as
Poliwag, has openly admitted
to rare candy use through
much of his career. Photo
courtesy of halolz.com.

Ketchum's testimony is contradictory to the testimony provided last week by his fellow trainer and long time friend, Brock. Brock is the Pewter City Gym Leader and is a prominent rock-type Pokemon trainer. When he took the stand last week he was asked about Ketchum's rare candy use:

"Ash and I have used rare candy to level our Pokemon for damn near a decade. The ban's made it difficult...rare candy is even rarer, so we've become a little more selective...I honestly don't see any other way to level a Magikarp."

The courtroom became heated when Ketchum's former Pokemon, Pikachu, took the stand. When asked if he had ever taken rare candy, Pikachu became defensive: "Pikachu. Pikapee. Pika pika! CHUUUUUUU!" Clearly agitated by the accusatory line of questioning, Pikachu was asked to step down from the stand and the hearing took a brief recess.

Professor Oak, Ketchum's Pokemon mentor, will likely be called to testify later in the week. In addition to the personal connection, many of Ketchum's Pokemon blood samples were sent to his Pallet Town laboratory for rare candy testing.

Beyond the Grand Jury hearings, Ketchum is facing harsh criticism in the court of public opinion. Ketchum's long-time rival in the Pokemon arena, Gary, had this to say: "I always knew he was cheating!" When asked about suitable punishments for trainers involved, Gary continued: "I hope they take his Gym Badges!"

Indeed badges may be stripped from those trainers involved, but heavier sanctions may be leveled in order to set an example within the Pokemon community. League officials could choose to reduce a trainer's Pokemon scholarship availability, penalize with battle suspensions, or revoke a trainer's license amounting to a life-time Pokemon ban.

xoxo,
ShavedGolf