Amusing Searches: The Fourth

Once again it's time for another installment of Amusing Searches.  Why?  Because I'm lazy and have nothing better to post this week.  THAT'S WHY!

After Amusing Searches: The Third was posted, it became clear ya'll need a little refresher on how this shit works.

Step One: someone goes to Google and searches for something stupid.

Step Two: that same someone ends up on my blog via their search.

Step Three: I see the search pop up in my blog stats, laugh hysterically, and mock it on my blog.

It's just that simple!  So here now, for your viewing pleasure, seven of the most ridiculous searches my stats have produced.

raging boner
I find it highly amusing that someone is sitting out there on the interwebs searching for a raging boner.  It's not enough to just search for a boner...you're looking for a penis that is currently raging.  An enraged dick.  That's one ornery shaft.  You won't like it when it's angry. Incredible Hulk style.

champion spray

Raging boners typically lead to champion spray.  Sadly, I believe I know what this poor fucker was searching for when they typed this in.  The search appeared around the time I had written about champagne, and so I can only imagine they misspelled champagne...badly.

women rubbing butts together
Odd.  Really odd.  Not even sure where to take this one.  What's the benefit?  What's the purpose?  I'm just left scratching my head.  Maybe the sight of two women rubbing their butts together is enough to give you a raging boner and you'll shoot your champion spray into a tube sock...?

no mustache no sex

If women REALLY wanted to fuck with society, they would implement this rule.  No nookie without a lip rug.  Extra points for womb brooms.  Think about all the new mustaches that would be introduced into the world!

How could Michelle say no?

Yes, sir.

Gettin' some.

FAKE

twat flossing

Nine out of ten dentists agree with nine out of ten gynecologists, women should floss their twat regularly.  Lackadaisical twat flossing leads to cavities, bleeding gums, and a stinky cooter.

cats doing the dougie

OK...this search seemed ridiculous, but then I youtubed it and was pleasantly surprised.  I don't really get it...but I'm sure it's animal cruelty.

pokemon speed dating
Because Pokemon Masters don't have time for the usual dating scene, there is Pokemon speed dating.  Dating is very similar to Pokemon in that the end goal is to catch them all. Strategy tip for speed dating newbies: don't whip out your Bulbasaur too quick or you'll never get to see her Nidorina.  Lay low, play it cool then Beedrill the hell out of her Weepinbell with your Cubone.


Thanks for searching.  You stay weird, internet.

xoxo,
ShavedGolf